This month, we’re diving into individuality—what makes each of us unique and how we can help our kids step into their most confident, authentic selves. But here’s something most people don’t realize: individuality isn’t just taught—it’s caught.

I was reminded of this the other day while joking around with my son. I had just told a silly story, and before I knew it, he was retelling it with the same enthusiasm—same hand gestures, same expressions, even the same pause for dramatic effect. It hit me: kids don’t just listen to us, they absorb how we move, how we speak, and how we carry ourselves.

That’s exactly what Vanessa Van Edwards, a behavioral researcher, discovered in her studies on charisma, confidence, and communication. She found that our energy, emotions, and body language don’t just reflect how we feel—they actively shape how others feel, too.

So here’s the big question: What is your child catching from you?

Source: TedTalk - You Are Contagious

This week, we’re talking about three powerful, research-backed ways you can use body language, tone, and presence to help your child feel more confident, expressive, and comfortable in their own skin—straight from Vanessa’s deep dive into TED Talks and Shark Tank success stories.

Have you ever wondered why some TED Talks go viral or why certain entrepreneurs on Shark Tank always land the deal? Vanessa Van Edwards did, too—and after studying thousands of hours of footage, she and her team discovered that confidence and connection aren’t just personality traits, they’re skills we can teach. Today, I'm sharing three of her most powerful findings—but through a parenting lens, so you can use them to help your child feel more confident, expressive, and comfortable in their own skin!

1. Make Conversations Interactive—It triggers Dopamine!


Ever notice how some conversations light people up while others feel like dead ends?

That’s because dopamine—the brain’s “feel-good” chemical—is released when we experience social interaction that is engaging, playful, and rewarding.

Try This: Instead of asking your child, “How was your day?”, try interactive questions that spark curiosity and excitement.

  • “What was the funniest thing that happened today?”
  • “If today was a movie, what would the title be?”
  • “What’s one thing that surprised you?”

The more positive interaction loops you create, the more your child associates communication with joy, making them more expressive and confident over time.

2. Choose Words That Engage, Not Shut Down

The words we use shape how others feel. Studies show that positive, engaging language encourages openness, while even small accidental negatives can make a conversation feel discouraging.

Try This: Be mindful of how you frame things when giving feedback or instructions. Instead of:

"Stop slouching." → Try: "Sit up tall like a superhero!"
"Don't be nervous." → Try: "You’ve got this!"

Framing things in a positive, engaging way not only boosts confidence but also helps kids absorb the message without feeling criticized.

3. Use Surprise & Touch to Create Connection

Our brains love surprises—they trigger activity in the hippocampus, strengthening memory and learning. Similarly, oxytocin—the trust and connection hormone—is released when we experience positive physical touch, like a high five or a fist bump.

Try These:

  • Surprise your child with small, unexpected joys—a random joke, a funny voice, or a surprise note in their lunchbox. These moments build connection and boost cognitive function.
  • Use physical touch intentionally—a handshake, a playful shoulder tap, or even a digital “high five” over FaceTime can help reinforce trust and warmth in your relationship.

Even through text or video calls, you can use “oxytocin language” by saying:

  • “I’m sending you a big hug right now!” or “High five—you nailed it!”

Small, intentional gestures like these help kids feel valued, safe, and more open to expressing their individuality.

Shaping Tomorrow's Business Leaders

Here’s something most people don’t realize—individuality isn’t just about self-expression, it’s about self-discovery.

Kids don’t just decide who they are; they learn it through experience, interaction, and the small moments that shape them.

That’s exactly why Tammy and Sylvia work hands-on with a small group of kids at Camp Supernova—to help them explore their strengths, build confidence, and discover what makes them uniquely them.

📅 Next Camp: March 10–14 (Spring Break)
⏰ 10 AM – 1 PM PT | Virtual Experience

So don't miss this chance to sign up for our Spring Session!

Sign Up Now

March is full of reminders that being different is a good thing! International Women’s Day (March 8) celebrates people who changed the world by being themselves, and Pi Day (March 14) is all about a number that goes on forever without repeating—just like each of us has our own unique path.

Take a moment this week to celebrate what makes your child one of a kind. Sit down with your child and make a list of things that make them unique.

  • What’s something you love that not many people know about?
  • What’s a skill or talent you have that makes you proud?

Maybe it’s their creativity, curiosity, or the way they see the world. What’s one way your child’s individuality has shined this month? Share it in our REK Facebook group —we’d love to hear!

"You were born to stand out, not to fit in." – Dr. Seuss

Next week, Tammy will introduce this month’s featured animal and the lesson we can learn from it. Any guesses on what it might be?

Until next time,

Adam & Matthew Toren, The Biz Brothers
"It's never too early!"