Ever caught yourself in the midst of a 2 AM diaper change, and suddenly had the epiphany that this whole parenting thing feels strangely familiar? No, it’s not déjà vu, my friend. It’s the startling realization that raising a kid is like building a startup.
But here’s the kicker: Raising a kid is way easier and cheaper. Let’s delve into this uncanny parallel, shall we?
Money Pits with Different Odds
Starting a company and raising a child are both notorious for burning holes in your pocket, except one is more like throwing money into a bonfire and hoping it turns into a unicorn. In the startup world, the failure rate is so high that you might as well consider it the ‘American Ninja Warrior’ of your finances.
When it comes to kids, however, the success criteria are a little more forgiving. I mean, if little Luna learns to tie her shoes by herself, that’s already considered a milestone win. And let’s face it, the odds of you building a unicorn startup are slimmer than your toddler willingly eating their vegetables.
Payroll: Hiring vs. Parenting
In both realms, you’re going to pay people to help you. But when you’re building a startup, you have to bring in software engineers, marketing experts, accountants, and maybe even a motivational speaker to prevent everyone from burning out. And they don’t come cheap.
Parenting, on the other hand, comes with the built-in co-founder, your partner, who typically works for the unbeatable salary of love and occasional adult conversation. Sure, you might hire a babysitter or a tutor, but you won’t need a CFO to manage the family budget (unless you’re into that kind of role-play).
Both your startup and your child have the potential to change the world. Your startup might disrupt an entire industry, revolutionize technology, or, you know, make it easier for people to order pizza with a single emoji. Meanwhile, your child could grow up to become a brilliant scientist, an inspiring artist, or at the very least, a highly competent human being.
But let’s be honest, if your kid manages to make it through adolescence without causing a localized apocalypse, that’s already world-changing in its own way.
The Handout Game
Raising capital for a startup often involves a cross between ‘Shark Tank’ and speed dating. You have to pitch to a room full of investors, begging them to believe in your dream (and your ability to make them filthy rich). It’s basically grown-up panhandling with a PowerPoint presentation.
Kids, however, just require a trip to grandma and grandpa for the occasional spoiling. No elevator pitch or business plan required. Just the sheer cuteness of your offspring is enough to unlock those family funds.
Sure, both journeys will test the limits of your sanity and your bank account. But if you weigh them side-by-side, it’s clear that raising a kid is the easier, and cheaper, endeavor. At the end of the day, you might not get a multi-billion-dollar IPO from parenting, but the rewards — a hug, a handmade card, or a simple “I love you” — are truly priceless.
So, the next time you’re knee-deep in a chaotic parenting moment, just think: At least you’re not explaining quarterly losses to venture capitalists. And that, my friends, is winning in my book.
This article was originally published at Medium. Republished with permission from the author.