Toddler Speak: The Phrases That Stick Around

Are we going to call pasta “noonels” for the rest of our lives?

The tea kettle whistles, and my baby comes running. “I do it?” She asks. “Dooping?”

“Sure,” I say, pulling her step stool over. I hand her a teabag and she drops it into my mug.

“Doop, doop, doop!” She narrates, as she bounces the string into the cup.

I furrow my brow and look at my husband, “When do you think she’ll realize that’s not a real word? Do you think I’ve screwed her up? Is she going to go on a coffee date in her twenties and scare away a potential suitor when she starts ‘dooping’ her tea in front of him and he thinks she’s gone off her rocker?”

He laughs and assures me it will be fine. “It’s cute and endearing. I’d only worry if she was still calling zebras zeebahs and pizza zeepah at age twenty.”

They’re mostly harmless, these Toddler-ese phrases that have slipped into our vernacular. We spend so much time redirecting her linguistic stumbles to help her learn — restating her “fyeah twuck”s so she can hear the letters enunciated clearly, “Yes, that’s right! I see the fire truck!” But somehow, some of her phrases just seem to stick.

Sure, I’m sure we sound silly at the library, telling her we’re “aldo” and it’s time to go home. That one was her first attempt at “all done” and it caught on. It was cute, it was simple, and we knew she could understand it. Nowadays, she can handle a “done” but we still haven’t let it go completely.

We offer her a choice of “noonels” (pasta, if you don’t speak baby) or “dee-ya” (more properly “dilla” for quesadilla) for lunch, and it feels nice to offer her choices with words she can say. Her speech is expanding at a whirlwind pace and she’s able to say “pasta” now and is even giving “quesadilla” a try, but we still mix those old simple favorites in, some of the time.

I wonder, what’s the harm?

I assure myself we’re not hindering her learning if we make sure to intersperse the proper versions of the words into our conversations. She’ll learn the right way too, and she still has a couple more years until she starts school, where she might be mortified if she says “neee” instead of “neigh” in front of her peers when they’re learning about animal sounds.

But then, I realize the dangers. The risk of embarrassment isn’t to her, it’s to us:

I’m dolled up and out in the city with old friends. For the first time this week, I’ve ditched my sweatpants for a dress and even snuck on a pair of earrings after I left the house — after I was sure I was a safe distance away so my baby wouldn’t be drawn to their sparkles and try to yank them from my ears.

I’m eating hors d’oeuvres — with real metal silverware — and sipping a spicy cocktail called “The Diablo” from a coupe glass. I feel fancy, even though my lips are on fire from the jalapeños floating around the top of my drink, and I think I’ve wiped all my lipstick off by now.

I am reveling in these moments of not feeling like a shlumpy toddler mom. I can still do it! I can be hip, I can wear jewelry and go to cocktail bars and enjoy a few baby-free hours.

After my second diablo, I’m ready for a trip to the restroom, and I, in all my beautiful sophistication, excuse myself from my tablemates, “I’ll be right back, I just need to go do bye-bye pee-pees.”

If not for the raised eyebrow from one friend across the table and the obvious stifled giggle from the woman next to her, I wouldn’t have even thought to second-guess anything. I catch myself as I’m about to ask, “What is it?” and instead say, “Oh God, I just said bye-bye pee-pee, didn’t I?”

The ladies nod silently.

“Welp, it’s official then. There’s no escaping being a toddler mom!” I declare, and off I go.

Truth be told, I’m not all that embarrassed. I’m proud to embrace these phrases my baby came up with because I’m proud she has learned enough to be able to speak them. I love sharing her language with her and communicating with terms I know she can fully comprehend.

I laugh as I wonder which are the phrases that we’ll keep using forever, and how long we’ll be saying “bye-bye pee-pee” in our house — it’s already second nature now after only a few months. But I know for now, even though she’s speaking more clearly, I’m not quite ready to be aldo with Toddler Speak. And I’m definitely not ready to tell her that “dooping tea” is actually just a silly sound effect I made up.

This article was originally published here. Republished with permission from the author.