Help Your Kids Define their Values and Beliefs

As the school year kicks into gear, I’ve been catching myself in those in-between moments—like when I’m driving the kids or making dinner—thinking about this tricky balance we walk as parents.

And since it’s Friendship Month, it’s the perfect time to reflect on how we juggle being both a parent and a friend.

One thing I’ve really come to believe is that friendship plays a huge role in teaching our kids about values and beliefs.

As Dr. Shefali Tsabary, a well-known parenting expert, says, “True friendship with your children involves mutual respect, deep listening, and trust. This is what allows parents to guide their children effectively, not control them.”

That really hits home for me. In our family, I try to model the values that matter—like kindness, respect, and empathy—through our daily interactions.

Friendship isn’t just a bonus; it’s a vital part of helping our kids understand and live their core values.

Oh, and of course, our family dogs Eddie and Stella play their part in this too! If you ask my kids, they’d probably tell you their friendship is as valuable as mine, even if their “lessons” usually involve chewing up sneakers.

By building strong, trusting relationships, we set the foundation for our kids to truly know and practice their values.

As we dive into this month’s theme of Values and Beliefs, let’s reflect how nurturing friendships can help us guide our kids in becoming thoughtful, compassionate people. Even our furry friends can teach us a thing or two!

Building Respect Through How We Speak

Have you noticed how we sometimes fall into saying the same phrases to our kids? It’s easy to do, but what if we paused and chose words that build more connection instead?

We've put together a Your Words Matter printable with alternative phrases to give you ideas on how to approach common situations with more respect and understanding. Download it below to see how a few changes in how we speak can make a big difference!

The Importance of Values and Beliefs

As we impart to our children the significance of values and beliefs, these principles act as a compass, guiding their decisions and actions as they navigate the world.

In our home, we've emphasized values like honesty, empathy, and respect.

In about third grade, my son was once faced with a difficult decision at school: He found a wallet on the playground, and although he could have kept the money inside, he chose to return it to its owner.

When we talked about it later, he said he remembered our discussions about honesty and knew it was the right thing to do. He was proud of the decision he made, and I was proud of him.

Moments like these remind can remind us that teaching values can have a lasting impact on our children's character.

Cultivating Meaningful Friendships

In honor of "Friendship Month," it's the perfect time to reflect on the importance of cultivating meaningful friendships in our children's lives.

Friendships provide emotional support, teach social skills, and contribute to a sense of belonging.

As a parent, you can help your children develop these relationships by encouraging empathy, active listening, and conflict resolution skills.

By doing so, kids are better able to understand other’s feelings better, and are able to work through  conflicts together.

Supporting our children through these experiences not only strengthens their friendships but also their emotional intelligence.

Modeling Values and Beliefs in Friendships

As we guide our children in forming friendships, it's essential to model the values and beliefs we want them to embody in their own relationships.

By demonstrating qualities like loyalty, kindness, and open-mindedness, we can inspire our children to do the same in their friendships.

During the summer, our family often takes trips with my brother’s family. During one trip, my brother and I had a disagreement, but we chose to resolve it through open communication and understanding.

Later, my son told me that seeing us work through our differences reminded him of the importance of being kind and respectful, even when it's difficult.

This experience showed me that our actions can leave a lasting impression on our children and their approach to friendships.

The Lasting Impact of Values, Beliefs, and Friendships

We've explored how friendship plays a key role in teaching our kids about values and beliefs, and how small changes in our words can build respect. To take it a step further, one of the best ways to foster respect with our kids is by getting involved in their world.

A great place to start? Get to know the parents of your kids' friends! It creates a community where shared values can thrive, showing our kids that respect reaches beyond just our home.

Now I've been hearing whispers about what Tammy and Sylvia are creating for you this month. There's talk of a really cool contest in the works--and maybe even an incredible book bundle on the way.  Stay tuned for exciting events and tools coming your way!

Share what family value or belief is most important to you in our REK Facebook Group​. Let’s keep the conversation going and inspire each other.

Until next time, wishing you a week full of meaningful connections!

Adam and Matthew Toren, The Biz Brothers