Gifts That Aren’t Under The Tree

First, let me say how grateful I am that you opened this newsletter—especially with all those “don’t-miss-this-sale” emails flooding your inbox right now.

This time of year, it’s easy to get caught up in the constant “buy, buy, buy” messages from retailers and social media. But what if we paused and asked: What are we teaching our kids about gratitude?

Psychologist Debra Lieberman offers a powerful perspective: without gratitude, our relationships risk becoming purely transactional—“I give, you take, we’re done.” Gratitude isn’t just about saying “thank you”; it’s about recognizing the effort and kindness behind every action.

Imagine you ask your child to clean their room. If they grumble or ignore you, you might feel annoyed because it seems like they don’t value your request. But if they clean their room without being asked, you’re more likely to feel grateful—it exceeds your expectations.

Now flip it around. Imagine your child works hard on an art project and shows it to you, and your response is, “That’s nice, but next time use more color.” Even if you mean well, it might feel to them like their effort wasn’t valued. These moments add up and shape how gratitude—or frustration—takes root in our relationships.

The more we expect from others, the harder it is for them to exceed that bar and trigger real gratitude. As parents, we have a unique opportunity to model gratitude by noticing—and appreciating—the little things our kids do every day.

This week, as we transition from community to gratitude, we’ve got a fun and reflective activity for you: a free printable gratitude-themed crossword puzzle! It’s a simple way to spark conversations about what matters most and remind our kids (and ourselves) that gratitude starts with appreciating what we already have.

Grab a cozy drink, gather the family, and dive into the puzzle. Gratitude is the greatest gift we can give—and it’s free.

Raising grateful kids starts with us as parents. Every word, action, and reaction we model teaches them what it means to appreciate what they have and the people around them. Even during the most stressful moments—especially during the holidays—our mindfulness sets the tone. By being intentional and creative in how we approach gratitude, we can inspire our kids to see it not just as a gesture, but as a way of life.

Here are three practical ways to get started!

🔧 Fix, Don’t Replace

When my kids were little, they broke a toy car that was one of their favorites. Instead of rushing out to buy a new one, we sat down together, grabbed some glue, and fixed it. They were so proud of the “new” car, and I realized it taught them something important: not everything needs to be replaced.

Now, we apply this idea everywhere—patching up a torn backpack, sewing a loose button on a shirt, or even gluing a mug handle back on. It’s a small act, but it helps kids appreciate what they already have and think twice before asking for something new. Plus, it’s a fun way to spend time together, especially when they see how much they can do with their own hands.

💚 Look Up to Everyday Heroes

We’re so used to hearing about “success” in terms of fame or money, but I’ve made it a point to talk to my kids about people in our community who are making a difference in quiet, impactful ways. Like the crossing guard who always greets the kids with a smile, or the neighbor who collects cans for the local food bank.

One evening, we had a conversation at dinner about what makes someone a hero. My daughter mentioned her teacher, who stays after school to help kids who struggle with reading. My son talked about a friend’s dad who runs a recycling drive every weekend.

These aren’t the people you see on TV, but they’re the kind of role models I want my kids to look up to—kind, generous, and dedicated. It’s a great way to shift the focus from what someone has to who they are.

🎊 Rethink the Holidays

Think beyond the usual traditions and create something unique for your family. Instead of focusing on gifts, consider celebrating in ways that bring your family closer together—like a family board game night, volunteering at a local shelter, or even planning a “screen-free” holiday evening filled with storytelling or music.

One year, we decided to skip the usual holiday lights tour and created our own scavenger hunt for decorations in the neighborhood—it was simple but so much fun. Activities like these teach kids that the holidays don’t have to revolve around shopping; they’re about meaningful experiences and connection.

Gratitude in Every Word

Packed with 10 things to be thankful for, this downloadable is a fun, easy way to spark conversations about gratitude and help kids appreciate what truly matters. Perfect for family time or as a quick activity to connect and reflect. Here are some fun ideas:

💬 Share Stories: After finishing the puzzle, pick a word—like “family” or “friends”—and share a time you felt especially thankful for it.

🔑 Take Action: Choose a word and turn it into kindness—like writing a thank-you note to a teacher or neighbor.

⌛️ Puzzle Race: Print out extra copies, and turn it into a friendly family race to see who finishes first.

Grab some hot cocoa and enjoy the fun! We’d love to hear how you used it—share your stories in the REK Facebook group!

We know gratitude can sometimes feel like an overused solution. We hear about it everywhere—be grateful, say thank you, count your blessings. But take a second to imagine what would a gratitude-free world look like?

It’s not a pretty picture. Without gratitude, our relationships risk becoming purely transactional, and future generations could lose the ability to truly connect with each other. And at a time when the world feels more complicated than ever, they’ll need those connections to tackle big problems, find meaning in life, and stay grounded amidst the constant distractions of consumerism and digital everything.

So, as the holidays approach, let’s make a shift. Let’s turn our attention to the gifts we can give that aren’t under the tree—the gifts of kindness, time, and connection. Let’s show our kids what really matters, and in the process, remind ourselves too.

Wishing you a week filled with gratitude, meaningful moments, and maybe a little extra patience as you navigate the holiday chaos!

Adam and Matthew, The Biz Brothers